Those Famous Summer Wine Quotes...

Reproduced by kind permission of the Summer Wine Appreciation Society. 


Give us a Lift 
Ist Policeman "You know what every policeman needs and they don't teach you at Police College?" 
2nd Policeman "Love."'

From Wellies to Wet Suit 
Compo is dressed in snorkeling gear.
Compo to Nora: 
"Would you like to have a look at my snorkel."

The Charity Balls 
Ladies are at Edie's coffee morning. 
Ivy to Pearl "How is your Howard" 
Pearl "You know how he is - he's short and crafty."

The Self Propelled Salad Strainer 
Trio out walking looking for wild flowers. 
Compo "Are you going to give me a hand." 
Foggy "What, picking flowers? That's no job for a trained killer." 
Compo "Alright, pick stinging nettles instead."

Cheering up Ludovic 
Foggy, Compo and Clegg sitting on hillside.
Foggy to Clegg - "Isn't it marvelous that old Mystery Trousers here is of the same species as Albert Einstein."

Whoops 
Foggy and Compo in the Café 
Foggy "Why don't you you wear those clothes you hardly ever wear." 
Compo "What clothes?" 
Foggy "Your working ones."

The Loxley Lozenge 
Nora and Wally out in the country.
Nora is shouting at Wally 
Nora "I wonder sometimes if you would ever miss me if I left" 
Wally "We could give it a try."

A Bicycle Made For Three 
Compo, Clegg and Foggy walking along a road. 
Compo "Hang on a minute, I've got something sharp in me welly."
Foggy "It would have to be sharp to survive that."

Catching Digby's Donkey 
Ivy "I suppose God made them (men) to go and people the planet.
I just wish he'd given them a hint when to stop."

Marina (on seeing Clegg) 
"Norman Clegg that was, who once dallied with my affections."
Clegg "I never dallied - I never even dillied. Tell her I never dillied" 
Marina "Where's he going?" 
Compo "He's got a donkey to catch" 
Marina "Damn! Are the buses on strike again?"